Pay For The Rent

Assalamualaikum and very good morning. I wish we would have a long good day today, In Syaa Allah, all things in His will. But, my morning introduction was not good enough because, clearly I remembered at 6:25 a.m., my foot got stung by black-yellow-striped bee. I wasn’t feel bad at first because I thought this pain was come from something not dangerous. I tried hardly to find where did I just put my hair clips, so MAD !! ughhh!! Later, when I found out that I get stung by bee, my blur/lost/”drunk” suddenly turned into panic. WHatt!!! I cried and cried, I thought I’m going to get disease, I went to find mom at kitchen, shown her my feet~my sister was also there. They just feeling nothing when they saw my feet, in my mind, “I got stung by a bee! Why did they feel nothing to be freaked out?” Ohhh yaa, sister asked me to go get “minyak gamat” and put on the place that get stung. I cried when the oil was not coming out, I forced it while I cry. Ughh… Till now, I still feel the pain. Spoil.

Yesterday, in the evening, I went to kitchen to wash dishes. I speed up my movement and when I was about to hold the cup holder, it suddenly broken and my thumb got injured. Ohmaigood.. Then I said, “why should I say Omaigod, I should say Allahu Akhbar” I repeated saying Allahu Akhbar more than twice. It was painless but I can’t hold myself looking at the blood dripping so fast. Ouch, just at one look just hurt enough. Oh man, my blood’s going to decrease. So, I kept the water pipes streaming down my left thumb while the right hand was trying to fry the fish(for my cat;they hadn’t eaten for half a day because I wasn’t at home).

This morning, I feel so scared for the things that keep following up. I am afraid because I just remembered the sins that I have done. Istighfar more than twice because I feel so afraid of what I have done. The thing that I have done is really the biggest mistake that happens repeatedly. This is making me more guilty. Maybe, the small wound that keep happening to me is just a warning or kifarah, a pay for me because I use His world to make a lot of mistakes that I should have learned the lesson long time ago. This is the pay that I’ve got to pay the rent. We, in this world, we just rent it for awhile and you must do something to pay it to the Creator. You must obey all of His rules. Who is He? Allah, the Creator of this world and afterlife. If you don’t believe, it is none of my business. I just telling you that we are all renting this world just to stay for awhile, do some good deeds to pay for the rent.

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